Things to Put in My Belly

Man, sometimes I think the whole world is so delicious...until someone shows me a pickle. Gross.

Now those of you who know me know that in the last year I lost around 70 lbs. Then I gained 28 back. I now consider myself around 8 lbs over my comfy weight. But whatever I look fucking rad. LOL.

Before:

After:

 

I swear most of the weight was in my hair.  And my ass. Anyway, I just want to lament about the wonderful things I'm missing right now because I'm determined to drop 8lbs before Mexico (I HATE YOU P90X!!). And in advance, yes, its likely the entire list will be composed of mostly bacon products.

Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burrito Stuffed Sausage Log 

 That looks delicious! And do I need to really explain it? Its a sausage stuffed with more meat and cheese.

 I'd hit that in the face...with MY face. And maybe some ketchup.

 

Bacon Caramel Corn

Okay, so my friend Amanda actually did send me a recipe for this and I COULD make it...however I'm wicked lazy and so I can just be content to drool over it and complain that I haven't eaten it yet.

I have a big hard on for popcorn and to combine both caramel and bacon on it pretty much sentences me to regain all 70lbs back. But I think if its gonna happen it may as well be bacon popcorn induced.

 

Bacon Cinnamon Rolls

Ben was actually the first person to make these for me. THEY'RE AWESOME!! I know some people can be wary of the sweet and the savory but that just means they haven't tried these yet. I pretty much had to force one down Mike Frolick's throat before he ate it...AND LOVED IT!

Next time you buy the Pilsbury cinnamon roll things, just throw some bacon on in there, and think of me.

 

Maple Bacon Cupcakes  

This is a one way sexy invitation into my pants. MAPLE. BACON. CUPCAKES! I know what you're thinking: ewww.  But no, oh no no. Many cupcakeries around town are starting to sell these as one of their regular flavours they're THAT delicious. Find one, eat one, then send one to me. 

 

Maple Bacon Donuts

Okay so take what I wrote above and just replace "cupcakes" with "donuts". OM NOM NOM.

 

 

 

Chicken Fried Bacon 

Oh yes, yes that is mayo as a dipping sauce. Lets break this down: 

1) chicken - yes   

2) fried - yes  

3) bacon - hellz yes.                               

Bacon Toffee

Mmmm toffee. I think this would make a good stir stick for my morning tea.

Bacon Salad

I think this one may work well on my diet because I mean, there's lettuce, tomato, maybe some celery. Its healthy!!

Mmmmm…suitable alternatives…

If you’re not a daredevil willing to go to great heights to reach a giant Cadbury egg (read: if you’re a pansy) then this may just do you: Cadbury Crème Egg Ice Cream!!! Basically you chop up a crème egg, throw some milk and some cream into a bowl with sugar (YES MORE SUGAR!!), cocoa, and a wee bit of salt. Throw that amazing concoction into the freezer and BOOM ice-creamy goodness. Or you can just do what I do and stuff 3 crème eggs into your mouth while no one is looking. Okay, so it’s not ice cream but I figure it’s the fastest route to my belly. I’m not too keen on the whole process of mixing and freezing and waiting. It just takes up too much precious eating time!