Monday, September 14, 2009

And Some People Are Just Jerks

Seriously, why do they keep letting Kanye into awards shows? Particularly the VMA's? I know that everyone and their sister on the interweb is talking about the latest Kanye West stunt at the MTV video music awards where he, in true douchebag style, interrupted Taylor Swifts female video of the year acceptance speech, to proclaim that Beyonce's video was one of the best of all time. Did you SEE Taylor Swift's face?

Usually I revel in the schadenfreude of such events, but to interrupt a 19 year old winning her first VMA, to literally grab the microphone from her for no reason to say perhaps what everyone was thinking but not willing to admit: rude.

Although I'm not a huge fan of Beyonce - I must have watched that video where she fell down the stairs laughing my ass off at least 19 times - her video for "Single Ladies" was stellar. But you know what? Not everyone can win. And not everyone cares what Kanye West has to say, especially when he can't seem to get all that sand out of his vagina.

Let's recap Kanye's award show douchebaggery to this date:

1) On November 2, 2006, when "Touch the Sky" failed to win Best Video at the MTV Europe Music Awards, West went onto the stage as the award was being presented to Justice and Simian for "We Are Your Friends" and argued that he should have won the award instead because it “cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons.” What? Pam Anderson was in it? Screw the Moonman - someone give him a fucking nobel prize STAT!!

2) At the 2007 Vegas VMA's toward the end of "Can't Tell Me Nothing," West lashed out at Britney Spears who opened and wondered why he wasn't approached to kick off the VMAs. "I can't believe she would perform/ She hasn't had a hit record in years,". He then referred to last year's VMA opener, Justin Timberlake, and rapped, "I gotta get my money right/ Or maybe I gotta get my skin white." *shakes head* Oh Kanye...playing the race card.

3) At the 32nd American Music Awards Upon hearing he has lost the Best New Artist award to "Redneck Woman" Gretchen Wilson, West storms out of the AMAs in a show of protest. He later tells reporters, "I felt like I was definitely robbed, and I refused to give any politically correct bullsh--ass comment ... I was the best new artist this year." He also followed this up in the 2009 GrammyAwards with Estelle before presenting the Best New Artist to Adele with saying "Its funny how neither I or Estelle won Best New Artist."

We get it Kanye, you like winning trophies. It's not enough to sell millions and millions of dollars worth of records, have that beautiful woman (????...its a woman right?) on your arm and have hundreds of thousands of aspiring rappers want to be like you, you have to humiliate a 19 year old on stage just to throw a little girl hissy fit.

What happened to the good old days where Rappers sought to get publicity through shootin' each other? Now they just throw bitch-fits on stage and pretend they're gonna retire to get someone to notice them. I bet Biggie and Tupac are rollin' around in their graves. Big L woulda just laid a cap in Taylor Swift's ass after the awards if he was really THAT upset. On that note I'm just gonna leave you with Kanye's last accomplishment. You may be able to interrupt a little white girl...but the president? Ah hellz no.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Always Talk To Strangers

Can I tell you how much I love Omegle? It's this awesome little website that allows you to talk to total strangers anywhere in the world (but mostly from the states). Some people are sports. Some just disconnect on you the minute you type "crotchmonkey" but I guess its all about personal preference. Here are some convo's I had tonight!

Stranger: ass through nuts.
You: ....
You: well thats random
Stranger: wow.
Stranger: this is awkward.
You: more for me though
Stranger: was it?
You: a little
Stranger: i felt PREEETTTY awkward.
You: its okay i thrive on awkward
Stranger: i think you're an awkward size queen.
Stranger: like
You: did you know!?
Stranger: well.
Stranger: i can't come up w anything witty.
Stranger: : i'd suck at who's line is it anyway.
You: one liners are the life blood of this world
You: if you dont have them you have...nothing
Stranger: i agree.
Stranger: i like you stranger.
Stranger: I like the way you move.
You: i do too! i'm pretty fluid
You: i should be on that show so you think you can dance but i'm too damn good and i'd win too easy
You: i like a challenge
Stranger: alright there "go getter"
You: whats a chicken select?
Stranger: what are you canadian?
You: is that like....squished out chicken?
You: noo....(hides canadian flag)
Stranger: no it's the chicken fingers u get at mcdonalds...the long dry ones, lol
You: ooooooooooh. i dont eat mcdonalds
Stranger: neither do i
You: that secret sauce is mostly urine
Stranger: that's awesome
You: never trust a smiling mcdonalds employee
Stranger: i love canada
Stranger: i've never been
You: you should
Stranger: but i love hockey
Stranger: LOVE IT!!!
You: i actually know nothing about hockey
Stranger: wow.
You: thats a common misconception about canadians
You: yea ...i know the montreal canadians...and the toronto maple leafs
You: and the mighty ducks cause of the movies...thats about it
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: are u a girl?
You: what cause i dont know hockey i'm a girl?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i'm just asking
You: i think thats what you were implying
Stranger: bc if you're canadian
Stranger: and you don't know hockey
Stranger: you're either a girl or a 3 year old boy.
Stranger: and you're typing pretty fast.
You: well you're you know "marrying your cousin"?
You: i win
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