Let me tell you something Facebook

Facebook - where do you get off thinking that I either need to 1) reconnect with friends or 2) get more friends?

Listen, I currently have 304 friends - 30 I talk to on a regular basis, 5 I lurk on a regular basis, 20 are people that I've talked to at one point in my life and MAYBE "like" a link once a month, 5 people are probably pity adds (lets be honest), and the rest I kinda remember from some point in my history.

1) If I need to reconect with friends I'll do it on my own damn timeline. Don't fucking nag at me. Who are you my mom?? No, and you know how I know that? My mom barely knows how to email. So she definitely won't know how to suggest I reconnect with someone who doesn't even have the decency to put up a FB profile picture!

2) Suggest friends? Seriously? You know, you can snoop my cookies for stuff I like to place a zillion ads in the fucking side bar, but for some reason you can't take into account that I probably haven't added these "suggested" friends for a reason. You go right to hell. There is logic to why I haven't reconnected with that girl from high school - she's a bitch...has she changed? Maybe. Do I care? No. No I dont. Why? 'CAUSE I ALREADY HAVE 304 FRIENDS!!

So you know what Facebook? Get off my back. If I happen to remember the name of the girl that I talked to 8 times at a library in grade 9 then I'll take the time to find her, and then still probably not add her...cause really, 304 friends is enough.